The Friday Rant - 22.02.2013

As we suffer through yet another few days of pouring rain and galeforce winds, and the forecast for parts of the UK is now for another dumping of snow, I think it's about time to let off a bit steam about the weather. Yes, we're English, and yes, we obsess about the weather, but wouldn't you if you had the quite frankly &^$**&£$?@## [*!!£$^&<> weather that we have ? Holy cow it's as if we are never going to be rid of winter's endless and depressing shackles..........

Where I live here in south east Cornwall was actually quite magical for the first three days this week, in that I actually saw the sun most of the time, the light was at times quite glorious, and at times you could actually feel a bit of warmth. I even got all overexcited and convinced myself that this "warm" weather was surely pushing bass in to our coastline and sneaked out for a few hours on Monday morning. Nope, not a sniff, but just to be out with the sun on my face and nobody else around but Storm and I was pretty wonderful. I'm English and of course I cannot help but hope that yes, this is it, this is spring really coming through and taking over from that perfectly miserable winter.

But no. We live in the UK, and by yesterday morning it was once again almost reassuringly time to don full waterproofs just to take Storm for her morning walk. It's as if a few days of sunshine on the face could actually be really bad for us and the weather has decided that no, it's time to subject us once again to a pile of poo. It rained all day yesterday, I wake up this morning and it's still lamping it down and it is meant to do so all day long. And some of you up-country are meant to be getting a load of snow. Just frigging marvellous. Don't you love it ?

I love living here in south east Cornwall, I really do. I love the UK, albeit I would move over to Ireland tomorrow in a different life. Compared to much of the world we have a pretty good standard of living here in the UK, recession and rising living costs aside. As an island we may well have far too many people living on it, but we do still have quieter parts where one can live a life away from the rat race. Even if you don't like the current government at least we don't have quite the rampant corruption so rife is so many other parts of the world, and for the most part the UK seems to work and stumble along ok.But we do have the weather.

I love reading stories about how in certain parts of the Sierra Nevada in the west of the US they get around 300 days of sunshine a year. I love how some old family friends of ours tell us about the roughly 200 days of sunshine they get each year down in south west France I think it is. It warms my heart, it really does. I shrug it off when a few South African friends gleefully refer to our country as a "mud island". It makes me feel so good when an angler from Durban who helped us out with a TV programme once told me that if he had to wear trousers more than one day a year there was something wrong with the weather. Warms the cockles of my heart it does. I feel so much for people who say that the weather for example in Los Angeles is just too predictable because the sun shines so much. My heart bleeds.

Holy cow the other day I don't think we actually saw the sun for a whole week. I was starting to feel like a vampire who might burst into flames as the first rays of a new day came over the horizon. We are living with the eternal optimism that this year we will once again get a spring. Is it then too much to ask that we might actually get a summer that does not revolve around having to wear waterproofs most times you take the dog out for a walk ? Is it greedy to then wish for at least a handful of days where as a family we might go to the beach and actually be warm for the whole day and be bathed in glorious sunshine ? At least I suppose I am saving money because the suncream I bought last year is still in date for this year, but that saving is hardly going to pay for the man hours I put into chopping and storing wood that we are still burning in our stove to keep warm - and it's nearly the end of March.

We live in the UK and for eternity we will moan about the weather. It's perhaps a part of what supposedly makes us great, but if we really are so great then why can't the weather cut us some frigging slack and be a bit better ? Bring on global warming and the hotter summers we should end up getting, although I am pretty sure we have had six pants summers in a row now, and last year we didn't even get a spring like the year before that to be fair was glorious. Does a rant like this achieve one single thing ? Nope, but it makes me feel a bit better. You all have a good weekend. Wrap up warm, enjoy building snowmen when it should really be sandcastles, and think thoughts of emigrating away from all this to somewhere else where the sun shines, the fish are more plentiful, grow bigger and fight like demons. Me ? Once more I will put full waterproofs on and manfully stride out across the fields with Storm and face the weather like the man I really am - when I'm not moaning about the weather of course............