The Friday rant - 08.04.11

So we're out on the coast last night as the sun is going down. It's about as good as the world is going to look. Flat calm but with a bit of swell rolling in. No wind and the surface of the sea has nearly glassed off. The sun looks huge as it drops steadily towards dusk. Peace and quiet should reign supreme on such a perfect evening as this. But what is that I can hear about five hundred yards down the coast ? What is it that is polluting such perfection with its migrant-inducing buzz whine of a noise ? Call me old-fashioned, call me a miserable sod, I really don't care, but I can't tell you how much I was fantasising about standing atop the cliffs and blowing the two jet skis to kingdom come with one of those very cool looking personal missile launchers. Honestly, I can't tell you how much I despise jet skis and that horrible, peace-shattering noise that they make..........

OK, so I have a somewhat questionable taste in music, but all that noise and angst that these metal bands spew forth sounds like heaven to me. There is a time and place for everything though. The coastline is a time for peace and quiet. Sailing, fishing, surfing, swimming, kids running around having a blast, building sandcastles, barbecues, walking with the dog, exploring rock pools, you name it, life does not get much more fun than time spent around the sea. So where on earth do those perfectly dreadful jet skis fit in ? You're sitting there with your family on the beach, or you are fishing like we were last night. You are in love with the world right now. And then you hear that terrible whining noise as a jet ski (or two or three.....) comes around the headland and starts roaring/whining/buzzing up and down. They have arrived to rip away all semblance of peace and quiet and generally look like moving targets for some shooting practise. I don't even own a gun, but last night I had this glorious vision of the two jet skis erupting into great big balls of fire and then getting the chance to cast a bass lure (with lots of trebles on it) at the jet ski drivers as they swam for the apparent safety of the shoreline. Is it wrong to think like that ?

What on earth is the point of a jet ski anyway ? Roaring around a perfectly good sea and doing nothing more than turning and carving about like some kind of prize doughnut on a floating biscuit and then going back home again. Having of course shattered the peace and quiet of our shoreline and the people who are out there enjoying it properly. If they can't be banned and then all collectively blown up, then how about restricting them to no closer than twenty miles from the coast ? Oh, and the owners have to charter a local boat to take them and their jet skis out there because they are not allowed to launch them from the shore and motor through that twenty mile zone. How good would that be ? Not only could we never hear them ever again, but there might also be a good chance that the jet skis go and get mown down by some nice big international shipping. Or perhaps the navy could use them for target practise ? Oh, and the only fish I caught yesterday evening was a mackerel on a surface lure (still loving the IMA Popkey big time). How about that for early April ? Sadly the two jet skis were out of casting range as they roared off across that beautiful looking sea..........