The Friday Rant - 27.01.12

Look where we are as a species. We stand upright, we walk around on two legs and we have populated this world with billions of us. Evolution eh ? Pretty clever stuff. But I have a theory about mankind continuing to evolve, and it revolves around actually going backwards. Granted, I'll be long gone, but I have a bunch that over time (millennia ?), mankind in the modern world is going to start to lose the ability to look up and around with our eyes, and I also believe that from our upright position we are at now, we are actually going to regress into a natural standing posture that has our necks bent forwards all the time. But why ?

Mobile phones. Yes, I have ranted upon this fine subject before, but hear me out here. At the end of this Friday Rant you'll think one of two things - either Henry has somehow turned into a visionary scientist almost overnight whose theories on evolution are going to be studied and followed like some cult, or otherwise Henry is talking out of his backside and needs to stop waking up at silly o'clock in the mornings with his brain buzzing around. Mobile phones are over time going to be responsible for mankind de-evolving if there is even such a word..........

Look around you - if indeed you can still bring your eyes level and away from that mobile phone screen. What do you see ? A scary percentage of people hunched over their mobile phones. Texting, finding out where the nearest restaurant is on some app when there's a restaurant right in front of them but they can't see it because they're hunched over their mobile phone, or even playing some inane mobile phone based computer game. OK, I can understand it a bit more if you live in a big city and there is very little to look at other than buildings, advertising boards and too many people, but what really breaks my heart is that we live in a beautiful world, yet as a species we seem to be losing the ability to lift our eyes back up to horizontal and look about us in sheer wonder. To see people on the beach for example hunched over their mobile phones. What a waste. Why go to the beach in the first place ? Why go for a walk in our fabulous if you can't take your head out of your mobile phone ? Mobile phones are taking over the world, and with the increased popularity of these so called "smart phones" (an oxymoron if ever there was one) I see us evolving backwards over time so that our eyes no longer need to come up to horizontal to see around us. They'll be set looking downwards from birth because we'll spend our lives hunched over mobile phone screens.

So we walk around in an upright posture. Or at least most of us do after we have gone through the teenage years and come out the other side again. And Goths of course. Based on my own scientific research laced with a really deep understanding of evolution, I put to you that over time we will start to de-evolve back to a position where not only the angle of our eyes, but also our necks will remain naturally bent over because we are going to be spending our time hunched over our mobile phones doing really important things on them that before they were ever invented we seemed to be just fine without. What I think I really need is an app to tell me the times of the tides for example, and especially when I am out fishing in some hauntingly beautiful location where I can't even get a mobile phone signal anyway. And because I have lost the ability to look at a perfectly good tide table before I go fishing and be able to retain that information in my head. Or how about an app that tells me what I might be able to find in a rock pool with my girls when we could just splash about in the rock pool together and discover it for ourselves. And not drop the phone into the rock pool into the bargain. Why don't I consult a smart phone to see where the sun is going to set instead of lifting my eyes up and soaking in a glorious sunset for myself ? Or perhaps over time these smart phones will become so smart that they will replace our own sense of wonder at the world around us. Perhaps it's those undiscovered tribes still wandering remote parts of the Amazon rainforest that are the lucky ones. Long may they remain mobile-free !! Or perhaps we could invent them an app that tells them where in the forest to find their food because they have suddenly forgotten how to rely on their natural instincts that are passed from generation to generation ? Perhaps if somebody reads this blog tens of thousands of years from now they could kindly leave a comment telling me if indeed I was right about de-evolution based on mobile phones..........