Henry Gilbey
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Henry Gilbey blog

When your mates try to get one over on you, but they forget who they are dealing with!

Let’s call these two mates Tit 1 and Tit 2 (a pair of tits?) so as not to embarrass them with their amateurish attempts to get one over on me the other day. In a befuddled moment of early spring based cabin fever, did they momentarily forget who they were dealing with? Were they trying to get me back for so easily winding them up like kippers over the years? The following is a true story - only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Tit 1 and Tit 2 fishing together - a perfect pair of tits!

Tit 1 and Tit 2 fishing together - a perfect pair of tits!

The weekend before last was of course a Six Nations weekend, plus I had a stack of chainsawing and axing to do, so I’m going nowhere, but Tit 1 and Tit 2 decide to head off to Wadebridge to wreck their collective heads with the increasing amount of modern lure fishing gear that Ben is drip feeding into his highly impressive Art of Fishing shop. Anyway, Tit 1 rings me on their way back to tell me all about the scary amount of lure fishing rods that were on the racks, with heaps more to come I am told. Many of the guys I go lure fishing with have various lure rod related issues and I’d put myself at the top of any list comprising those who need to seek help. Thanks Tit 1, sounds like Ben’s got some serious new rods I need to go and have a waggle with. Back to the Six Nations………….

Does anything strike you as a tiny bit odd about the paragraph above though? Yep, it did with me as well. No mention from Tit 1 about any new lures in Ben’s shop. Bless him, does he think my head isn’t screwed on straight? Already my windup radar is lit up because there had been absolutely no lure talk. I know something is afoot, but because I have played this game a number of times myself, I pursue the matter no further, I don’t ask lure questions that I know Tit 1 is dying for me to ask, and I’ll see if they end up hanging themselves!

So I give Tit 2 a shout at the beginning of last week, and guess what? We talk about lure rods. Tit 2 has very serious issues with lure rods and I think it is fair to say that his head is a mess after their Saturday visit to The Art of Fishing, but again, there is scant talk about new lures. Bless ‘em eh?

My next phone call is to Ben in his north Cornwall tackle shop, and amongst a bit of new lure rod based chat, I enquire as to whether he by any chance he has got any of the 4.5’’ OSP DoLive Shads in recently. I’m just really interested to see what they are like compared to the larger 6’’ version that I got hold of the other day, but with those words from Ben “yes, got a few packs in,  Tit 1 bought some, didn’t he tell you?”, I was literally crying down the phone as yet again my mates’ attempt at getting one over on me had fallen flat on its face. Don’t they know who they are dealing with here? I know how Tit 1 especially was so looking forward to magically producing a 4.5’’ DoLive Shad when we were out on the rocks, because he so wants me to then ask where the hell he got it from and why wasn’t I aware of it.

The trick is though to let them hang themselves. Let them think for a little longer that they’ve got one over me, and the trick is not to come straight out and ask the obvious question. No, drop the idea in there and let events unfold.

So I call Tit 1 when he’s back from work and we talk a bit more about the lure rods he saw the other day. We’re having a good chat, and I know that he’s giggling away inside because he is so damn sure he’s got me good and proper and bought some lures that I don’t know about. We’re yapping away, there have been no mention of any lures, and then I drop it in there: “I’m really looking forward to getting my hands on some of those smaller DoLive Shads sometime soon, because I think Ben might be getting some in.”

Silence from the other end.

And this is when I know I’ve got Tit 1 bang to rights. Tit 1 and Tit 2 thought they were being so damn clever with their plotting, and I’ve had Tit 2 especially so many times now because I refuse to ask the questions that I know he really wants me to, and this makes him blurt stuff out that he was trying so hard to keep quiet until we are out fishing. I know he can’t take it when I don’t ask and then he capitulates. It’s a simple matter of being patient and dropping stuff in there when needs be.

And it’s still silent at the other end of the phone, until that is Tit 1 bursts out laughing. Bless ‘em eh? I don’t think either of them would earn a living as professional poker players! Tit 1: “I’ve already got a packet of the shads.” Me: “I know.”. Tit 1: “How the hell do you know?” Guys, seriously, if you’re going to try and get one over on me you so need to do better than that!

Anyway, have a good week all of you. I am off to the US tomorrow afternoon, flying from Heathrow to Boston and then meeting up with a bloke from Fiiish to do some mainly research based work that we can’t do here in Europe. I am not sure if I will be able to blog again until I get back next week, but I will try my best.